I recently had the privilege to watch Steven Bartlett speak at the Business and Life Speaking Tour. During the talk, he shared many lessons about leadership, happiness, personal development, and more. These are the 6 lessons he shared:

1. Embarrassment is the Price of Entry

Whenever we try to do something different, be bold, put our ideas out to the world, we risk being rejected, laughed at, embarrassed. And this risk is usually enough for people to give up on their dreams, to never start their own business, their own podcast, or whatever else. However most of us overestimate how much people actually think of us. A study conducted in 1999 had college students wear an embarrassing t-shirt and walk into a room of their peers. When the victim was asked afterward how many people they think remember their t-shirt, they said 70%. However when his peers were asked if they say any strange t-shirts, only 15% mentioned the victim. And at the end of the day when asked again, no one remembered at all. This phenomenon is called the spotlight effect and it shows that people don’t actually care as much as you think they do.

And when looking at the potential reward, the price of embarrassment pales in comparison.

Sara Blakely went into stores to sell her clothes and kept getting rejected. On one store, she had been escorted out by security twice. She went back a third time and modelled her clothes for a female associate there, and she was so impressed they started selling it at their department store.

2. How to be Great at Paddle

Steven had 4 best friends and they would always play paddle together. However there was one friend, Ashley, who sucked at paddle. He was always bottom of their friendly leaderboards, and could never climb up from that position. Steven started to observe Ashley’s play. He realized that sometimes Ashley would start strong, winning the first few points. But the moment he missed one shot, he would lose the subsequent one, and the following rounds until he had lost the whole game. Ashley’s problem was that he let these small setbacks effect his mental, which caused him to lose the entire game.

Steven brought Ashley aside and told him this tip. After losing a point, say to yourself:

That point doesn't matter. I’m going to win this game anyway, because I am the better player.

And as Ashley continued to play, he started to beat his entire friend group at paddle and became the top player.

His skill didn’t improve, his self talk did, and that changed the results dramatically.

3. How to Build Willpower The Tenacious Brain

Theodore Roosevelt, lost both his mum and wife on the same day when he was 26. On that day he wrote in his journal a large X, and “The light has gone out of my life,“ Mourning the great loss of his loved ones he went to the badlands to intentionally experience hardship and suffering. He would often go on multi-day rides on the saddle and experience sunburn, dust, wind, and sheer exhaustion, and afterwards becoming raw and blistered.

His friends say that he went to the badlands a boy, and came back made of iron.

While campaigning for a third term in 1914, Roosevelt was shot in the chest. However he said “It takes more than a bullet to kill a bull,” and continued to give a 50 page long speech.

The Anterior Midcingulate Cortex is the part of our brain responsible for us being able to overcome resistance. It is referred to as the “Tenacious Brain”.

It only grows when you do something you don’t want to do. “Something you don’t want to do” doesn’t refer to runners high, it refers to something you actively resist.

This is how the challenges of the badlands grew Roosevelt in willpower.

We live in a comfort crisis. Everything is too easy. There are less opportunities for our tenacity to be challenged.

4. Pushing on Paper Walls

There are many paper walls in society. Rules, barriers that you think are real and solid, but when you walk up to it and give a little push, you realize it is made of paper.

The founder of Zara, Amancio Ortega ****was told it takes 9 months to get from design to store. Ortega said Im going to do it 14 days. And he did it and it made him rich because 85% of his stock got sold instead of 60% from other companies.

Steven’s animator said it takes 7 days to animate a 35 minute episode. Steven asks: “What would it take to… do it in 2 days.”

Animator says: “Well I would need a new computer, because I got this old one that renders really slowly,”

Steven immediately gets him a new computer, saves 5 days of time, by just asking the question “What would it take to … “ Steven’s teammate asking to transfer his car insurance. Guy said it will take 4 weeks. Teammate asks “Why”. Guy says: “Email and shit,” Teammate asks: “What would it take to get it done now”

Guy does it in the same phone call.

So keep pushing on walls. and you’ll find 97% of them are made of paper.

5. Skill Stacking

Combine rare complimentary skills. I actually don’t think this is a opposing view from be a master in one instead of a “jack of all trades”. It is about best at being yourself, because there is no-one better at being you than you. Your combination of complimentary skills is your unique selling point.

Example: Ronaldo is not the best at any one skill like free kicks or speed but his combination of skills make him the best football player.

6. The Five Dollar Illusion

Stanford Study, given 5 dollars in an envelope, too focused on the 5$. Students that made the most money sold their presentation to companies who wanted to hire Stanford students. The problem is their frame was too narrow and they focused on the 5$. The smart students could zoom out and see what other resources they had such as the presentation to stanford students.